Classy vs Trashy Weddings
Hello lovely blog readers. How are you all? I love to spend my Sundays drinking coffee and catching up on the world of weddings. Unfortunately today that meant reading an article in the Daily Mail. I know, it’s my own fault! Did anyone else catch the article ‘The 12 ways to spot if you’re having a downmarket wedding – including the bride baring her shoulders and favours on the tables‘? Well don’t worry if you didn’t but if you want a good laugh I recommend you read it haha!
The artile was written by William Hanson who, according to his wikipedia page has been labelled by Sky News as ‘the UK’s leading consultant in etiquette & protocol’. Today he wrote about Samantha Cameron attending a service in honour of the Queens 90th birthday ‘scantily clad’! I’m not sure what you think about her dress, but when I think about scantily women, I don’t think about Sam Cam in LK Bennett
So what, according to Hanson, the man who thinks table runners are used by single women in their 20’s, are the 12 ways to spot if you’re having a downmarket wedding? Lets look at his rules for avoiding trashy weddings.
Stag and hen parties
So he says that stag and hen parties are a no no. Apparently a drinks reception, no longer that three hours long is totally acceptable. He doesn’t mention strippers and shots so we have to make our own minds up about that. I know what my thoughts are.
Exposed shoulders are not allowed so that rules out most of the wedding dresses that you find now a days. I think he would be very upset to see some of the SS2017 collections. I would love to hear his thoughts on coloured wedding dresses. We all need to do a Kate Middleton and opt for white long sleeves. I wonder what he made of Pippa’s dress?
Hats (not fascinators)
The more hats the more up market. To be honest I love hats at weddings so this one I totally get, oh no wait…I wear headpieces and fascinators and not hats. That means I’m trashy! I was going to use the monkey with his hands over his eyes emoji but that will just make my trashy situation worse.
So we have to think carefully about which hymns we choose to sing. If people don’t know the words that means we are showing off and we don’t want to sing anything inappropriate. I wonder if the same goes for the first dance song? And if we choose to walk down the aisle to a recorded song it will be Elvis Costello?! This guy really needs to move with the times, everyone knows we all walk down the aisle to Bruno Mars now a days.
Walking down the aisle
‘The Americanisation of the wedding service is, in part, somewhat responsible for tacky weddings on British soil’ Sorry to my American readers, we don’t all share his view. Apparently our churches are too small and there isn’t enough room. Sending the bridesmaids down first will cause a traffic jam and they don’t have enough common sense to slip into a pew first.
The sign of a trashy wedding is to get it wrong with your shoes. Grooms leaving the price tags on and brides wearing heals. What, wearing heals? Really? Even if they are Manolos…wait Carrie wore Manolos, they are probably the worst shoes to wear…get yourself off to Dotty P’s and you’ll be fine.
Chair covers are absolutely not allowed. If we don’t like the chairs we just have to go out and get nice ones. I don’t know about you, but purchasing 150 new chairs for my wedding reception was totally the top of my must haves list!
This one surprised me apparently the sign of a trashy wedding is to have wedding favours?! Cute little gifts, things for your guests to be able to remember your day…not needed! According to Hanson we are paying for their meal so don’t have to provide them with anything else. He states that they are another Americanism but perhaps he needs to do his homework. I wonder if he would change his mind if he knew that they were an old tradition common among European aristocrats. They were known as a bonbonniere, a small trinket box made of crystal or porcelain, sometimes with precious stones and usually contained sugar cubes or delicate confections.
Staying until the end
This one made me laugh the most. You spend 250-300 hours planning your wedding, it costs you thousands of pounds, you stress and worry that everything will be right and that your guests will have a great time, people fly in from all over the world to see you and apparently you’re not allowed to stay until the end?! What?! is this some kind of joke?! Well this mean that I have never attended a classy wedding in my life.
Other things that make for Trashy Weddings
Gold thrones – Sorry Posh and Becks
A wedding band for the groom – really?
Bride and groom figurines atop the cake – to be fair this is becoming less common
Over sized martini glasses as centerpieces – ooops, there goes my table
A (white) post box at the reception for wedding cards – should we just pile them in the corner?
Pre wedding photo shoots – perhaps he just isn’t photogenic?
Discos – oh come on this is getting silly now!
Don’t anybody let this guy near Pinterest or we are all doomed!!!!
Well I know what my wedding was…What about you?